Chapter Eighteen: Why I want a Sex and the City Wedding

2 June 2008 at 11:08 pm | Posted in Adventures, Insights | 2 Comments
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[She Writes]

SPOILER ALERT.  If you’re planning to watch “Sex and the City” in the theaters and don’t want to know the ending, then you should probably stop reading here.

But if you’re still reading this, then you are either too curious for your own good or planning on just buying a dee-bee-dee.   Well, don’t say I didn’t warn yah.

I’m not even going to dwell on the entire movie.  This being a wedding-tagged blog, I am only going to focus on the wedding-related events in the movie.  (It’s still a major spoiler though.)

I want a Sex and the City Wedding.  Yes, there is a wedding.  Whose, you say? If you have to ask, then I have to ask you back, “Where the hell have you been?”

Fifteen minutes into the movie, Big and Carrie bought an apartment in Fifth Avenue together – a penthouse, no less; reconstructed the closet to fit Carrie’s tastes (and shoes); and talked about getting married.  It was all very grown-up.  No heart-stopping proposals.  No dazzling diamond ring.  Carrie was in her forty’s.  Big was, well, OLD, and on his third marriage.

So at the start, it seemed like it was going to be an intimate affair.  Carrie bought an urbanesque white suit from a vintage store designed by no one famous.  And that was her wedding gown.  Rather, it was her wedding dress.  Or more aptly, it was her a wedding outfit.  It was that simple.

But like most weddings, what starts out as an “intimate affair” ends up being, well, not so intimate.  Like most brides, Carrie got carried away with the the trimmings and trappings that inevitably come with wedding planning.  And like most grooms, Big thought it was becoming too big.

It started with an announcement of the engagement on Page Six.  Then came a spread on Carrie as the 40-year-old bride in Vogue, where she wore gowns by the “haute-est” designers, her favorite being Vivienne Westwood’s.  Naturally, Carrie ends up being gifted with the dress by Vivienne herself.  And the Westwood gown certainly kicked her wedding-outfit-by-no-one-famous’ ass.

From there, the guest list of 75 became 200.  And The New York Public Library, where the ceremony was going to be held, was filled to capacity.

All Big wanted was to marry Carrie.  And he would have done so at the court, in front of a judge.  After two failed marriages (sealed with grandiose weddings), he was no fan of the celebration.  For him, the wedding should be about the two of them and no one else.

On the morne of the wedding, Big sought assurance from Carrie that the celebration was going to be about the two of them, and no one else.  But like any movie’s plot twist and turn, Charlotte’s daughter (who happened to be played by a cute little Pinay) unthinkingly kept Carrie’s mobile in her tiny purse out of Carrie’s physical or auditory reach.

So on a momentary lapse of courage, without Carrie’s words to strengthen him, Big bails.  He is jolted by an epiphany minutes later, but Carrie is already jilted at the altar.  She spends her supposedly surprise honeymoon for Big with Charlotte, Miranda, and Samantha instead, and lives the rest of the year as a recluse.

Carrie refused any form of communication from Big, so she wasn’t able to read the love letters Big had sent in her email until many months later.  Big had never written her a love letter in his life, so this was a big turning point in the story.  Well, I won’t go into the details anymore, but basically, when Carrie saw Big again, love and forgiveness took over and brought her into his arms.  Big proposed properly, getting down on one knee. Instead of a diamond ring, Big presented a diamond-clustered shoe – very Carrie.

They got married in civil rites at a court with a number of other couples waiting to be wed, watching their simple union.  Carrie wore her wedding-outfit-made-by-no-one-famous, and her “engagement shoe.”  After the “ceremony,” they invited a handful of their friends for brunch at some diner, and that was how they celebrated the wedding most couples wanted – an intimate affair.

For a future bride, the movie certainly jolted in me an epiphany of sorts.  Sometimes, I get so caught up in the details of planning that I forget the true essence of the wedding – which is to be one with my Sweetie.  I probably won’t go as far as getting married in court (since we both do want a traditional church wedding), but it certainly helped me gain greater perspective.

The Sex and the City TV series has always been about fashion-forward styles, grand traditions, and drama.  The movie, while it still had all that jazz, belied its origins, with the heart of it all centering on the simple and romantic.

I want a Sex and the City Wedding – a simple celebration of love, where all that matters is “us.”

Chapter Sixteen: Love and Time

10 May 2008 at 6:53 am | Posted in Insights | Leave a comment
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[She Writes]

Love inspires.

Love and Time

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others, including Love. One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all constructed boats and left. Except for Love.

Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to hold out until the last possible moment.

When the island had almost sunk, Love decided to ask for help.

Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said,
“Richness, can you take me with you?”
Richness answered, “No, I can’t. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you.”

Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel. “Vanity, please help me!”
“I can’t help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat,” Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by so Love asked, “Sadness, let me go with you.”
“Oh . . . Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!”

Happiness passed by Love, too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her.

Suddenly, there was a voice, “Come, Love, I will take you.” It was an elder. So blessed and overjoyed, Love even forgot to ask the elder where they were going. When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way. Realizing how much was owed the elder,

Love asked Knowledge, another elder, “Who helped me?”
“It was Time,” Knowledge answered.
“Time?” asked Love. “But why did Time help me?”
Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, “Because only Time is capable of understanding how valuable Love is.”

Chapter Fifteen: Love and Marriage

10 May 2008 at 6:48 am | Posted in Insights | Leave a comment
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[She Writes]

A wedding is merely one day in the lifetime of a marriage.  Be inspired not only by the wedding, but the marriage as well.

Love and Marriage according to Plato

One day, Plato asked his teacher,”What is love? How can I find it?”

The teacher answered, “There’s a large wheat field in front. Walk there

without turning back, and take just one leaf. If you can find one leaf

that you think is extraordinary, it means you have found love.”

So Plato walked .. and not long after that, he came back empty-handed.

The teacher asked him,”Why didn’t you bring any leaf?”

Plato said, “I can only bring just one leaf and when I walked, I couldn’t turn

back. Actually I found one extraordinary leaf, but I didn’t know whether

there would anymore extraordinary leaf in front, so I didn’t take that leaf.

When I walked further, I realized that the leaves I found are not as

extraordinary as the one I found previously. In the end, I didn’t take any leaf.”

Then the teacher told him, “That is love.”


Another day, Plato asked his teacher again, “What is marriage? How can I

find it?”

The teacher answered, “There is a forest in front. Please walk there and

don’t look back. You can only cut one tree, and cut the one that you

think is the highest, because that means you have found marriage.”

Plato walks there, and he came back not long after that bringing one

tree. The tree is not a very good tree and not a very tall one, either.

It’s just an ordinary tree.

The teacher asked him, “Why did you cut that kind of tree?”

Plato answered, “Because, according to my previous experience, after

walking through the field, I came back with nothing. So this time, when I

saw this tree, and I thought the tree is not so bad, so I decided to cut it

and bring it here. I don’t want to lose another chance to get it.”

And the teacher said, “Well then, that is marriage.”


Little notes

The more you look for love, you will find nothing. Love is in your heart,

when you can control your desire and your hope to find something better.

When you have endless hope and wish of love, you will only get emptiness

because you wont get anything, and time cannot be turned back. Accept love

for what it is.

Marriage is a continuation of love. It is a process of having chances, and

you choose the best option among all the alternatives. If you want to

have a perfect match and a perfect marriage, you will only waste your

time, because there is no perfect marriage.

There is no such thing as a perfect human relationship.

Have you ever wondered why the shape of a heart is not a full circle?

Because only GOD can fill in that space.

Chapter Fourteen: A Lull

9 May 2008 at 8:40 pm | Posted in Insights | Leave a comment
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[She Writes]

However much I refused to believe it, my family (particularly my Mom) told me it would come eventually.  And it did.

Because we had already taken care of most of the major aspects for our nuptials, I am finally experiencing my first lull in wedding preparations.

My cousin told me that when she was planning her wedding, she had been fired up the first few months, stagnant the next, then excited again later, and so on.  It was a rollercoaster of moods, and my Mom said that I would experience the same thing.  I didn’t believe her during the first few months after our engagement, when I could barely contain my eagerness to finish all the wedding details.  But now, the initial excitement is beginning to fade, albeit slowly.

I still flip through pages of Wedding Essentials and Metro Weddings, but just absentmindedly and almost purely for bathroom reading. I dig up flyers from previously attended fairs and scan the WeddingsAtWork Primer and Directory, but only occasionally and randomly.  I discuss wedding details within our online community, but not even about our own.

For this blog, I realized that I was starting to draw a blank. So I’ve decided to dedicate the next few chapters to stories that would re-inspire myself about the wedding planning process.  And hopefully, others will become inspired as well.

Typically, to motivate herself about wedding preparations, it may seem that the most logical move for a bride would be to surround herself with images of breathtaking receptions, beautiful gowns, and lovely bouquets.

But I guess I’m not typical bride.  Instead, I decided to surround myself with breathtaking words, beautiful thoughts, and lovely insights about love.  The love that is being celebrated in a wedding is no ordinary love.  It is a love so strong, it must be shared to the world; a love so confident, it commits itself to eternity; a love so meaningful, it has God at its very core.  To realize that you have been blessed with such a love, well, nothing can be more inspiring than that.

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