Chapter Eighteen: Why I want a Sex and the City Wedding

2 June 2008 at 11:08 pm | Posted in Adventures, Insights | 2 Comments
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[She Writes]

SPOILER ALERT.  If you’re planning to watch “Sex and the City” in the theaters and don’t want to know the ending, then you should probably stop reading here.

But if you’re still reading this, then you are either too curious for your own good or planning on just buying a dee-bee-dee.   Well, don’t say I didn’t warn yah.

I’m not even going to dwell on the entire movie.  This being a wedding-tagged blog, I am only going to focus on the wedding-related events in the movie.  (It’s still a major spoiler though.)

I want a Sex and the City Wedding.  Yes, there is a wedding.  Whose, you say? If you have to ask, then I have to ask you back, “Where the hell have you been?”

Fifteen minutes into the movie, Big and Carrie bought an apartment in Fifth Avenue together – a penthouse, no less; reconstructed the closet to fit Carrie’s tastes (and shoes); and talked about getting married.  It was all very grown-up.  No heart-stopping proposals.  No dazzling diamond ring.  Carrie was in her forty’s.  Big was, well, OLD, and on his third marriage.

So at the start, it seemed like it was going to be an intimate affair.  Carrie bought an urbanesque white suit from a vintage store designed by no one famous.  And that was her wedding gown.  Rather, it was her wedding dress.  Or more aptly, it was her a wedding outfit.  It was that simple.

But like most weddings, what starts out as an “intimate affair” ends up being, well, not so intimate.  Like most brides, Carrie got carried away with the the trimmings and trappings that inevitably come with wedding planning.  And like most grooms, Big thought it was becoming too big.

It started with an announcement of the engagement on Page Six.  Then came a spread on Carrie as the 40-year-old bride in Vogue, where she wore gowns by the “haute-est” designers, her favorite being Vivienne Westwood’s.  Naturally, Carrie ends up being gifted with the dress by Vivienne herself.  And the Westwood gown certainly kicked her wedding-outfit-by-no-one-famous’ ass.

From there, the guest list of 75 became 200.  And The New York Public Library, where the ceremony was going to be held, was filled to capacity.

All Big wanted was to marry Carrie.  And he would have done so at the court, in front of a judge.  After two failed marriages (sealed with grandiose weddings), he was no fan of the celebration.  For him, the wedding should be about the two of them and no one else.

On the morne of the wedding, Big sought assurance from Carrie that the celebration was going to be about the two of them, and no one else.  But like any movie’s plot twist and turn, Charlotte’s daughter (who happened to be played by a cute little Pinay) unthinkingly kept Carrie’s mobile in her tiny purse out of Carrie’s physical or auditory reach.

So on a momentary lapse of courage, without Carrie’s words to strengthen him, Big bails.  He is jolted by an epiphany minutes later, but Carrie is already jilted at the altar.  She spends her supposedly surprise honeymoon for Big with Charlotte, Miranda, and Samantha instead, and lives the rest of the year as a recluse.

Carrie refused any form of communication from Big, so she wasn’t able to read the love letters Big had sent in her email until many months later.  Big had never written her a love letter in his life, so this was a big turning point in the story.  Well, I won’t go into the details anymore, but basically, when Carrie saw Big again, love and forgiveness took over and brought her into his arms.  Big proposed properly, getting down on one knee. Instead of a diamond ring, Big presented a diamond-clustered shoe – very Carrie.

They got married in civil rites at a court with a number of other couples waiting to be wed, watching their simple union.  Carrie wore her wedding-outfit-made-by-no-one-famous, and her “engagement shoe.”  After the “ceremony,” they invited a handful of their friends for brunch at some diner, and that was how they celebrated the wedding most couples wanted – an intimate affair.

For a future bride, the movie certainly jolted in me an epiphany of sorts.  Sometimes, I get so caught up in the details of planning that I forget the true essence of the wedding – which is to be one with my Sweetie.  I probably won’t go as far as getting married in court (since we both do want a traditional church wedding), but it certainly helped me gain greater perspective.

The Sex and the City TV series has always been about fashion-forward styles, grand traditions, and drama.  The movie, while it still had all that jazz, belied its origins, with the heart of it all centering on the simple and romantic.

I want a Sex and the City Wedding – a simple celebration of love, where all that matters is “us.”


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  1. This movie was.. breathtaking, shocking, thrilling, heartbreaking, exciting, and hilarious

    I have seen it 3 times and im ready to go see it again. i give this movie 5 starts and congrats to the cast and a thank you to Darren Star. your magnificent

  2. i want marriage

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